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«“” I thought that there must be something wrong with me that I was feeling so hopeless; that I looked at my four lovely sons and a life which has ...»

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Assert yourself You will need to be assertive about shaping home, family, life and work as you would like them to be. Many people, particularly women, may feel guilty about taking care of themselves, having time to themselves, saying 'no' to others' demands and setting boundaries. There may be a long-standing pattern in your life of fitting in with everyone else's wants and needs and neglecting your own (see Mind's booklets, How to Assert Yourself and How to Increase Your Self-esteem, details on p. 14).

10 Mental Health Promotion

Talk it through Some people find that talking about their problems with a psychotherapist or a counsellor helps them to make sense of confusing and painful feelings. Counselling may be short-term and focus on immediate practical issues and goals. Psychotherapy tends to be a more long-term process and involves looking at deeply-rooted patterns of behaviour and attitudes, developing an understanding of why we may be trapped in destructive situations and relationships and what we can do to change. See Useful organisations on p. 12 and Mind's booklet, Understanding Talking Treatments, details on p. 14.

Take care of yourself Health professionals stress that it's possible to prevent potential health problems if you make some changes at mid-life. This may involve stopping smoking, cutting down on alcohol, starting an exercise programme and eating healthily. Women may find that distressing menopausal symptoms may well be helped by changing what they eat without having recourse to drugs. Many people find that learning a relaxation technique or meditation, or trying alternative approaches, such as acupuncture and massage, are useful tools in dealing with stress. For more information on taking care of yourself, see Useful organisations on p. 12 and Further reading on p. 14.

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Cruse Bereavement Care 126 Sheen Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1UR helpline: 0870 167 1677 office tel. 020 8939 9530, fax: 020 8939 9530 web: www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk e-mail: info@crusebereavementcare.org.uk Provides support services for people who have been bereaved British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy 1 Regent Place, Rugby, Warwicks CV21 2PJ tel. 0870 443 5252, fax: 0870 443 5160 minicom: 0870 443 5162, e-mail: bac@bac.co.uk web: www.counselling.co.uk Send an SAE for details of practitioners in your area Carers UK 20–25 Glasshouse Yard, London EC1A 4JT carers' line: 0808 808 7777, tel. 020 7490 8818 minicom: 020 7251 8969, fax: 020 7490 8824 e-mail: info@ukcarers.org, web: www.carersuk.demon.co.uk Information and advice on all aspects of caring Careline Cardinal Heenan Centre, 326 High Road, Ilford IG1 1QP helpline: 020 8514 1177, office tel. 020 8514 5444 fax: 020 8478 7943, e-mail: careline@totalise.co.uk Telephone counselling on any issue Men's Health Line Medical Advisory Service, PO Box 3087, London W4 4ZP helpline: 020 8995 4448, fax: 020 8995 3275 Health information service on issues relating to men's health

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New Ways to Work 26 Shacklewell Lane, London E8 2EZ helpline: 020 7503 3578, fax: 020 7503 2386 e-mail: info@new-ways.co.uk, web: www.new-ways.co.uk Advice and information about employment and return to work Relate Herbert Gray College, Little Church Street, Rugby CV21 3AP tel. 01788 573241, fax: 01788 535007 web: www.relate.org.uk Relationship counselling The Samaritans 10 The Grove, Slough SL1 1QP helpline: 0845 790 9090, fax: 01753 819 004 e-mail: jo@samaritans.org.uk, web: www.samaritans.org.uk Helpline offering emotional support for anyone in a crisis Women's Health 52 Featherstone Street, London EC1Y 8RT helpline: 0845 125 5254, tel. 020 7251 6333 fax: 020 7250 4152 e-mail: health@womenshealthlondon.org.uk web: www.womenshealthlondon.org.uk Telephone helpline on various aspects of women's health Women Returners Network (WRN) Chelmsford College, Moulsham Street, Chelmsford CM2 0JQ tel. 01245 263 796, fax: 01245 491 712 e-mail: womenreturners@hotmail.com web: wwww. women-returners.co.uk

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A-Z of Complementary and Alternative Therapies (Mind 2000) £3.50 The Assertiveness Workbook R. J. Paterson (New Harbinger Press 2000) £12.99 How to Accept Yourself Dr W. Dryden (Sheldon Press 1999) £6.99 Essential Help for your Nerves Dr C. Weekes (Thorsons 2000) £8.99 How to Assert Yourself (Mind 2000) £1 How to Cope as a Carer (Mind 2001) £1 How to Cope with Relationship Problems (Mind 2001) £1 How to Increase Your Self-esteem (Mind 2001) £1 How to Look After Yourself (Mind 1999) £1 How to Survive Family Life (Mind 1998) £1 How to Stop Worrying (Mind 1998) £1 Learn to Meditate D. Fontana (Duncan Baird 2000) £10.95 Learn to Relax M. George (Duncan Baird 2000) £10.99 Learn to Relax M. George (audio tape) (Duncan Baird 2000) £4.99 Making the Most of your Relationships: How to find satisfaction and intimacy with family and friends W. Stewart (How to Books 2001) £7.99 Meditation: An introductory guide to the healing power of touch S. Mitchell (Element 1999) The Mind Guide to Food and Mood (Mind 2000) £1 The Mind Guide to Managing Stress (Mind 2001) £1 The Mind Guide to Physical Activity (Mind 2001) £1 The Mind Guide to Relaxation (Mind 2001) £1 The Mind Guide to Yoga (Mind 2001) £1 Shift Your Thinking, Change Your Life (Sheldon Press 2001) £6.99 Stress: Restoring balance to our lives B. Grant Viagas (The Women's Press 2001) £7.99 Understanding Anxiety (Mind 2001) £1 Understanding Bereavement (Mind 2001) £1 Understanding Childhood Distress (Mind 1997) £1 Understanding Depression (Mind 2001) £1 Understanding Talking Treatments (Mind 2000) £1

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For a catalogue of publications from Mind, send an A4 SAE to the address below.

If you would like to order any of the titles listed here, please photocopy or tear out these pages, and indicate in the appropriate boxes the number of each title that you require.

Please add 10% for postage and packing, and enclose a cheque for the whole amount, payable to Mind. Return your

completed order form together with your cheque to:

Mind Mail Order 15–19 Broadway London E15 4BQ tel. 020 8221 9666 fax: 020 8534 6399 e-mail: publications@mind.org.uk web: www.mind.org.uk (Allow 28 days for delivery.) Please send me the titles marked above. I enclose a cheque (including 10% for p&p) payable to Mind for £ Name Address Postcode tel.

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Mind does this by:

• advancing the views, needs and ambitions of people with experience of mental distress

• promoting inclusion through challenging discrimination

• influencing policy through campaigning and education

• inspiring the development of quality services which reflect expressed need and diversity

• achieving equal civil and legal rights through campaigning and education.

The values and principles which underpin Mind’s work are:

autonomy, equality, knowledge, participation and respect.

For details of your nearest Mind association and of local services contact Mind’s helpline, MindinfoLine: 0845 7660 163 Monday to Friday 9.15am–5.15pm.

For interpretation, MindinfoLine has access to 100 languages via Language Line. Typetalk is available for people with hearing or speech problems who have access to a minicom.

To make a call via Typetalk dial 0800 959598, fax. 0151 709 8119.

Scottish Association for Mental Health tel. 0141 568 7000.

Northern Ireland Association for Mental Health tel. 02890 328474.

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Mind (National Association for Mental Health) 15-19 Broadway, London E15 4BQ tel. 020 8519 2122, fax. 020 8522 1725 web. www.mind.org.uk

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