«Roland Michel Tremblay rm Kiddo Blog in L.A. 2 December 2005 Kiddo blog in L.A. 1 I have now an ...»
On the contrary, another long phone conversation tonight is very much a contradiction to everything I had been thinking lately, as I felt he was trying to avoid speaking with me on the phone. And now it looks like he might work on Sunday. I cannot accuse him of trying to not meet me again, unless he is inventing it and he is not working. Which I doubt.
Perhaps he has something to hide. It could explain why he wishes to make sure I am really biting the bait before meeting me. It would make things easier if it was the case, I doubt what it is that he hides is that bad anyway. And on the phone, his voice, it is so comforting, so reassuring. His personality is so wonderful, everything about him.
And I know he is still slim, his ID has been verified along with his weight and height. Maybe as he said, it has just been bad luck from the start. In the meantime we have developed quite a love relationship at a distance. It must mean something.
My biggest pain is the pain I would cause Stephen by going any further with Norton. I would so hate to have to tell him that it is over, I’ve met someone else in Los Angeles, why don’t you die alone in London or meet one of these cuties that you told me were buzzing around you at work? It would destroy him, and me as well, as I do love him, as I did for the last ten years.
It might not come to that, at this time I don’t need to think too much about it.
The chances it would actually work with Norton are very slim indeed. I would be lucky to even hold him in my arms for one night. I’m afraid of how he will react, because I’m very much under his spell and I would cuddle him as if I would like to melt into him. He might not be prepared for that.
I’m too ready to just fall head over heels, and become his slave. However I don’t need much to get back to reality and accept that none of this is real or would ever be, despite his nice words to the contrary.
That would also be acceptable. With a bit more sex than what we have been used to, or even affection.
Well, if I succeed this trade in, almost as if I was speaking of a car, I would be very lucky indeed. My third boyfriend might be my best yet, physically and mentally, and they’ve all been great. I never thought it possible that I could strike a third time lucky, and perhaps experience something even better.
Of course, perhaps all of this is just in my imagination, but it looks like it could become real. And I don’t remember having wished for it consciously either, must have been unconscious. But it still works, you can dream the life you want and it happens. So let’s wish a lot of happiness, at work as well. Let’s change our attitude and start to finally enjoy this life in Los Angeles. I do a little bit more every time I speak with my kiddo. Could it be that simple? Throw a little bit of love into the equation? Was Freud right?
13 December 2005 Kiddo Blog in L.A. 7 Something is developing with my Kiddo, we speak on the phone almost everyday, we sound like we are very much in love. Even if I have not seen him last Sunday and that he has already told me that I won’t see him next Sunday. He has to visit his aunt again, to celebrate Christmas earlier since they won’t be together at Christmas.
I know many people who would have already told him to get lost, but our phone calls give me a lot of hope. His deep voice is very reassuring, his whole personality also, I just wish I could meet him once. God knows when that will be now… in the new year perhaps. At least it prevents me from meeting other people, I am still faithful to my baby in London. Only something serious is worth it, just in case Stephen never shows up on my doorstep in L.A.
My motto is to believe them until they give me a reason not to. Of course, once you start wondering about the truth, it is difficult to judge. Since there is the unlikely or improbable to take into account, which could very well be true. We are in Hollywood after all.
After reading my Mycroft Holmes Blog in L.A., this 43 year old man contacted me saying he was a writer. I thought he would never contact me again after seeing my photos. However, he appeared to have a genuine desire not to sleep with me, but to help me here in L.A., to get somewhere.
Now, I know it is unlikely and improbable that someone would like to help you, after seeing a glimpse of your potential through an anonymous blog, however I have not found any crack yet in his arguments and he has now seen my full website and my true potential.
Already that he does not wish to have sex with me is a good indication that this is not what he is after. Ok, he did not tell the whole truth. He is no body builder and the first time I saw him, I thought I could not kiss him as he is not my type. I don’t really like people in a sexual way when they’re from the red headed league (reference to Sherlock Holmes).
However after one full night speaking to him and his creativity, imagination and genius, I was quite ready to jump in his arms. Weird how life can make things happen. It did not happen however and it is just as well.
He is a heterosexual kind of block who apparently had a series of misfortunes with the ladies. And now he believes he should try the gay world, he is not sure of what he is. There seems to be a lot of that kind of strange animal in Los Angeles. For all I know, perhaps all the ladies in town are downright bitches.
However that part of his profile was true, he only wish to meet body builders who are very slim. Not exactly me. And moreover, he says he never had sex with a man before. Now, that is getting closer to the improbable.
So he spent a lot of time on the phone after our first meeting, apologizing because he thought he misled me since we did not have sex. And I had to tell him finally that I had my Kiddo and that I would much prefer to remain faithful to him, even if we have not met yet in over a month. That seems to have made him happy, I think, and he felt less guilty after that.
The surprise did not end there. He is a writer, but for music. He writes songs, and composes, etc. So first he made me listen to that song that was some sort of a clone of a Celine Dion song, the Titanic. He recorded it in a studio with a woman, and now wants to sell it so some famous singer can turn it into a number one hit, including hopefully Celine Dion.
So he put the CD in the system, and I am listening to it, and then something strange happened. Despite the fact that it is very similar to Celine Dion, the song is actually different and certainly a number one hit! I looked at his bedroom that he rents, how poorly he lives, and then I realized that this guy had a lot of talent and would soon live in a mansion.
At the end of the song he looked at me puzzled, he thought I would say that I did not like the song. In fact I was speechless. For the first time in my life, I would imagine, as it takes a lot to impress me. I am so disconnected from everything.
Of course, I thought right there that this was a fluke. A lucky song, sounds easy to do, he did it, god knows, anyone with any talent might be able to sit down and copy a song? But then he played many other songs of different styles and I was convinced the guy knew what he was doing. He is some sort of musical genius, or at the very least, a very capable one who, as he says, is just about to make it big on the music scene.
So, why contact me then if he is a musical writer and composer? He wants to help, he has friends in the business, one main actor who has been around for many decades, who also was in many series of Star Trek. And another writer, who brought us some of the biggest sci-fi films ever made. He intends to present me to them saying that I have a lot of potential, and apparently these people are willing to help people with talent.
That is the part that is too good to be true. And it even makes me feel uncomfortable. What would I say when I meet these people? Apparently it is not the first time that my friend presents people with a lot of potential to his friends.
And he says that I am the one with the most talent and potential, of all the ones he presented to them.
So assuming they are his friends - and he wanted to show me that he had their phone numbers on his phone, and I stopped him - then I may actually meet these people and god knows what would happen then. I have no reason to believe he is lying since there is nothing to gain in all of this for him. No reason to lie that I can see. So perhaps the leitmotiv that everyone is a liar in L.A. and just protects their own ass, is not true for everyone. We’ll see.
Now, my friend was also a security guard at one of the big studios, and met many actors this way. He was also an actor, he failed to mention that until very late in the conversation. He showed me autographed photos, and one of them was him with, at the back, all the films and series and plays he appeared in. He has mostly been a special guest star on series, or small roles in movies, but surprisingly enough, all the most important and interesting ones. He has now put that on hold until he can succeed in music.
As if this was not enough, the guy is also into Theoretical Physics, and has read a lot about it, and developed his own theories about the structure of the universe.
At that point I did not think he would be able to impress me, however he came up with this extravagant theory of how the universe could look like and I was 19 genuinely impressed to the point of being convinced I was sitting in front of a genius.
I know enough to not be fooled in this matter. I was ready to laugh internally at his great discovery, which in essence would not have been one. But this image of the universe is haunting me now, and even if somehow it could be disproved, the sheer fact that he had the imagination to come up with something like that is sufficient to tell me that the guy is no ordinary guy.
I am the sixth person in the world to whom he has told what his ideas were. All of the others had to sign an agreement of non-disclosure. Why did he decide to trust me? Especially that many people before, apparently, have stolen his things. I come across as someone very genuine, apparently. And I am, he certainly does not need to worry about me, I would never steal any of his ideas.
However the concept of having to get friends to sign agreements of nondisclosure is quite remarkable. Only in L.A. would you find such a thing, I would say. This is so much like the total opposite of my own personality, I have everything online for everyone to see and steal.
And now I have to go back to bed. I feel very sick.
I have been awakened by my new friend from North Hollywood. He says he is visiting a friend around here and was asking if I needed anything like water, that he could drop on his way here. It is the second time that he proposes to drop everything to come and help, since I am sick.
This is a very interesting dilemma. Because even if I needed help, of course I would never ask him to come all the way from North Hollywood. It would be taking the piss and no one in their right mind would keep a friend taking the piss.
So why ask? I don’t want to read too much into this, I think he is just a kind hearted person with a lot of time on his hands.
He called to let me know he contacted his friend actor to tell him about me.
Apparently that actor asked him many questions about me before considering meeting me. And then, he asked the magic question. He was wondering if I knew anything about parallel universes.
If all true, I will meet that guy within two weeks, close to Christmas. I will probably impress him with my potential and aptitudes, and start working with them on their projects.
From the point of view of destiny, once again I must have built up this whole reality, as it seems so unlikely. I don’t even need to wish for my future to be bright, it seems all of this was put in motion at the time when I was hoping for some external help to get me out of the conference world. I might be seeing a way out of this after all… 15 December 2005 Kiddo Blog in L.A. 8 My first day back in the office after being sick for three days. I was expecting troubles. However yesterday I stopped myself to work on this changing the future or parallel universe thing, I said to myself that everything would be fine in the office, everything will be great from now on, and being sick will be fine. And sure enough, everyone else has been sick, my valley girl has missed two days and a half work, three other people missed days as well, so there was no way they could think I was faking it. Thank God. And everything is fine.
I also said to myself that I would meet those actors/producers and I will definitely work with them. That is not very hard to imagine that it will come true anyway, from a destiny point of view. It is obvious I am here for just that and that it would have happened eventually. But sooner rather than later is what counts, I need to get the ball rolling before Christmas and I need to work very hard at convincing them that I am indispensable, because of my imagination and knowledge in the science and science-fiction areas.
21 And the third thing I wished and convinced myself that would happen, is that I can no longer wait another maybe two to three weeks before meeting my Kiddo, things need to move faster and something needs to develop now. Sure enough, yesterday on the phone my Kiddo said that his sister was sick, and might no longer wish to go celebrate an early Christmas at this aunt they have somewhere in California. I might meet my new baby in less than three to four days. I’m sure it will happen now.
Yesterday my conversation with Norton was very deep indeed. He told me more that I could have ever imagined possible, especially that I am still a stranger to him. Again another one of his generation, he took a lot of drugs in his days and still is addicted to some pills called Vitago or something. I don’t understand how painkillers are supposed to give you a high, but somehow he always manages to get 200 of them and get through that within a few months. If that was all, it would still be OK.